The 3rd time is a charm.

So my soul can be sorta hard of hearing. You know sometimes God has to say things a couple times for me to get it. Well today he had to say it three times for me to really get it.

First of all I was listening to Natasha Bedingfield this morning. She is one of my favorite secular singers and I love listening to her music to get myself awake and going when I have a busy day. Well I was singing along with her this morning and the lyrics to one of her songs that I have always loved just stopped me in my tracks:

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined

I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Well when I heard that last line "ending unplanned" well the Holy Spirit just spoke to me and said..."That is a lie" I started thinking about it and as much as I love the meaning of that song (being that each day is new and you can make something out of each new day) the fact is my ending is not unplanned. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Proverbs 16:9 says "The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps."

Praise God my ending is not unplanned. My heavenly Father has an awesome plan for me. I am not undefined I am what He says I am. I am his daughter. I am a mother. I am a worshipper. I am a preacher and a teacher. I am exactly what he has called me to be and the things that I haven't became yet but that are in his plan I will become in his time.

As for being unwritten I read a quote today (2nd time God spoke to me) that read "I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is writing a love story to the world" -Mother Teresa. The story might be unwritten but the Author knows exactly what he will write, a love story to the world, and I have given myself over to play whatever part he wishes to give me.

Finally I read a post by Amber at "Striving for 31" and I knew that God had something he really wanted me to understand. There was this quote

"In some ways, I feel like I am handing Him the notebook of my life and I am turning the page to a blank one, inviting Him to write whatever He wants for today. Over and over again, I beg Him to come and write on my life. Without Him, my story is not worth reading. But with Him, I can't even imagine how it is going to turn out. It's that little thing we call redemption, I suppose!"

and also this quote

"I want to go beyond my comfort zone and let Him write the story on today's page. In a way, it's terrifying. But life isn't worth living if we live it only for ourselves. There is too much pain, too much sin, and too much sorrow. So instead, I choose Jesus. And I ask Him to pick up the pen and write His love over my life today."

Well I guess after a three point lesson it is time that I finally get it. God has a plan for my life. I can't hold on to the pen and try to make sure he writes it the way I want it. I wanted a little sweet China doll to become my daughter but he is writing in a story that involves a child from Ethiopian descent. I wanted to work full time and buy a home and a car and all of the other unimportant things we kill ourselves to posses. But God wrote a story about a Mom who took a step of faith and decided to cut back her hours and homeschool her children and choose to be active in every minute of their lives. In God's version I decide to stay in the home he gave me and drive the falling apart blessing of a car he gave me. In God's version people look at me like I am crazy when I say I want to help children in need of a home, when sometimes it's all we can do to keep our own two clothed and feed and educated. In God's story I choose to bite my tongue and pray for those who despitefully use me. (I won't tell you how it is handled in my version but it involves tar and feathers. :-) In God's version I choose to walk out the dream he gave me for Operation Giggle and Sarah's Hope and in my version I just mark those things off the list as things I just don't have the energy to do. In God's version I chose to help others and do without...I am not to that part yet and I have some growing to do before I get there. (Can I just pause right here and say in my version I might punch Dave Ramsey in the mouth. I know, I know, he is a great man with great ideas about saving and living with-in your means but if my flesh were in charge I would just give him a right hook...I'm just saying...)

But the great part is that God sees the big picture. He see's what I can't see. He has my best in mind. He doesn't have his mind changed by his daughters groaning and complaining. He will do what is best for me. He is God Alone...without my help. Unchangeable, Unbreakable, Unstoppable...that is what he is.

So I will rest easy knowing that he is on my side and he will not change, break, or stop until my life reads like a classic.

In Christ Alone,