Withering grass, that is what Peter called it.
My withering flesh stinks!!!!!!
1 Peter 1: 24 for
“All flesh is like grass
and all its glory like the flower of grass.
The grass withers,
and the flower falls,
It is so predictable. It is so selfish.
I am in a very hard place right now. I wish I could put it into words. I wish I could put my finger on what it is I guess it is that I am "grieved by various trials" (1 Peter 1:6). Nothing seems easy. Nothing seems to just "fall into place". I am frustrated, stressed, and just in a poor mood overall! This is so out of character for me. I am such a positive person.
I have felt this way for awhile but until the last week I have been able to keep things in check. On Tuesday I think I pretty much just stopped trying to pretend everything is ok.
I fail. I miserably fail at serving my sweet Jesus. I am just tired of failing but I know that no matter what I do I am flesh and I can't be perfect. I am frustrated by my failure. I understand that the frustration is a tool of the enemy to try and keep me feeling as if I can never do anything for God. I just don't know how to get off the spin cycle I am on. I need Jesus. I need the Holy Spirit. I need to be covered under the wings of the Almighty. I know it is me that keeps pushing Him away.
I feel abandoned. I know I am not. But I am frustrated that I am not full time at my job yet. I am frustrated that we have not sent in any more of our paperwork for our adoption. We have been redoing some things around the house and everything is a mess that is adding to my stress level as well. I keep telling myself I have a great life, I am not hungry, I am not sick, I am not abused, I am not under persecution, over all I have a great life. That just makes me frustrated at myself for being frustrated. I know the answer is MORE JESUS less sherri...I am just having a hard time getting there. Please pray for me bloggy friends. Pray that my frustration will not get the best of me. Pray that the God of all peace will minister to me during this HARD time of various trials. I would appreciate it and return the favor when you are feeling a bit frustrated.
In Christ Alone,
The Importance of Family
1 day ago
I have already said a prayer for you my friend. Keep your chin up, God will sustain you through your frustrations. And ultimately you will come forth like gold from your fiery trials!!
ReplyDeleteHow funny that you would say that...a friend of mine just texted me and said for me to read Isaiah 43. Vs 2 said
ReplyDeleteWhen you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.
and Vs 5 and 6 say: Fear not, for I am with you; I will bring your offspring from the east,
and from the west I will gather you. 6 I will say to the north, Give up, and to the south, Do not withhold; bring my sons from afar
and my daughters from the end of the earth,
God is good!
Sherri,
ReplyDeleteYour not alone in your frustration! It is a difficult time of the year with the winter blahs and post Christmas sugar cravings (speaking for myself here.) Then add in the sad news from ND last night and it feels so HEAVY! But keep in mind that God wants to carry our burdens for us and that he wants us to cast our cares to Him! Here is is 12 noon ... I need to make lunch for the boys and my tummy is GROWLING! You see, I really want to dedicate one day a week to fasting and praying for orphans ... and every day this week has NOT been the day. So today I decided it would be good ... then I had a muffin. UG! I am SO weak! But I have decided that even with the muffin in my tummy (even if it is now gone) I will try my hardest the rest of the day and see where I'm at at supper. I know God will honor my efforts, even if I fall so short of my expectations. If I don't try at all I will be defeated before even starting ... and there is so much good that can come from our efforts, even if they seem like such small beginnings! Strength to you my friend and I'm so glad you have reached out to all of us!
Sherri, I totally get this post!!! It sounds like I could have written it myself! I'll be lifting you up in prayer as God brings you through this growing experience!!!
ReplyDelete