The Real Me~WARNING~this is not a "Pretty Little Package Post"

UPDATED
I have been going through some stuff lately. My back (that God healed) has begun to hurt again. I feel this was because of a single act of disobedience on my part. I am not saying that if you are hurting it is because of sin but I know what I did that my Sweet Heavenly Father told me not to do and I can honestly say that this is my fault. Now I know God has forgiven me and I believe that he will touch me again and I will walk in my healing but the fact of the matter is I belong to him. My life is his, my children are his, my bank account is his, my bills are his, it's all his. I don't own one thing and when I begin to act like I do...well I get in trouble. I am thankful for that correction because it means I am HIS CHILD! Praise the Lord for that!


Well back to the story; this has all driven me back to a crossroad in my life. Do I depend on God and his strength or do I allow myself to be sucked back into the "Egypt" I once was a slave in? Well I know the answer to that I depend on God but typing those three words on this screen is A LOT easier than walking them out. So today I decided to get up with a purpose in hopes that I can stay focused on the life Christ intended for me instead of being drawn away by things that don't matter so I decided to make myself a list. A list of 10 things that I HAVE to do today. Things that will get me up and moving and will require me to spend time with God instead of pushing him away. Even if it hurts.

I want to be real on this blog so I am going to share my list...

List of 10 Things to do Today

1. Clean Kitchen (Don't do dishes (this is my dear daughter's chore and she is paid for it :-))

2. Clean Dining Room

3. Fold Clothes on Love Seat (they have been laying there for at least 3 days!)

4. Wash at least three loads of laundry...since I haven't done laundry in 3 days this made sense...lol)

5. TAKE A SHOWER (you guys think I am kidding but I'm not. I have to take a shower sitting on a chair right now so this is quite a process!)

6. Fix a good supper for the family tonight (no fast food junk).

7. Read my Bible (Hello?! It's where all my help comes from why do I seem to want to put it down when things are hard?!)

8. Write for 30 minutes (I don't think I have talked about this yet on here but my Dad and I have been working on a book for over a year...we brainstorm, we make an outline of what we want in each chapter and then I write it...well the first chapter isn't even finished...and I have been doing this an entire year!!! God has called us to something awesome after this book is written but I may be 75 by then.)

9. Be NICE (even to the people I live with)...ugh!

10. GO TO CHURCH TONIGHT!

I mean it's ugly but it's the real me. My flesh is at war with my spirit and my brain is caught in the middle. So I am starting small. I have a little over 10 hours to get all of this done so I have to accomplish one thing an hour...For my first task I cleaned the kitchen and started a load of towels...so I did get to cross one thing off my list already praise the Lord! I am so glad to know that no matter where I find myself God is with me. He loves me. Isaiah 54:10 says "For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed," says the Lord, who has compassion on you," He's not going anywhere...he knows the real me and he loves me ANYWAY! PRAISE GOD FOR THAT!!

So I got everything accomplished on my list EXCEPT spending 30 minutes writing...I just kept putting that off...but I did bake a cake for dessert after a great dinner of homemade soup...so I guess I did pretty good! I had a great time at church and I feel alot better. One of the main things I want to avoid is having to rely on the pain pills again so please pray that God will help me with this! Thanks for all the prayers!!!