Love is as strong as death!

Song of Solomon 8:6 says
"Set me as a seal upon your heart, 
 As a seal upon your arm; 
 For love is as strong as death, 
 Jealousy as cruel as the grave; 
 Its flames are flames of fire, 
 A most vehement flame."

I believe this verse is a warning label. I think God wanted us to understand the power of Love over a human. I think he wanted His daughters; His Princess to understand we should be careful who we give our hearts to. When God created men and women he wired us up differently, for a purpose. He told us to be fruitful and multiply. That's a two step process, be fruitful, or produce, so he puts inside men a want for women, they are visual, they see a woman and they want to be fruitful. Now they are not animals and a man being led by Christ will learn to control themselves. But women were made for the 2nd part of God's order, multiply, what good would having children be if they never made it through the baby stage? God gave women the heart of a nurturer, we want to hold someone, we want to be held, we want relationship. We crave intimacy, if you are 18 and single or 45 and married you still have the same want. Someone who can't live without you, someone who values you above all else. you want to be wanted and loved. The problem is that this mindset often draws people to you that want you but don't love you, they see a need they can fill, "whoa baby, you want to be wanted well I for sure want you!" but if we fall for that and give ourself to that kind of person we will be crushed when they act surprised that you also expect love and relationship. They seem to easily walk away while that "Love as strong as death" rips you into. Oh girl I have been there been right in the middle of that mess. I once asked a man if he loved me and his response was "I love you because you love me so much and you've always been so good to me." that will just warm your heart won't it? Not I love you because I am a better person with you or because you are my soul mate or because you are the one God made for me. Nope, basically he loved me based on what I had, was, or would do for him. So any self respecting woman would have got the spirit of slap and rung his jaws and walked away but me, I thought...well at least he loves me. I wish I could go back in time and get the spirit of slap and smack some sense into my own head!! Let me make this simple, God is the only one who will ever love you the way that fulfills your soul. Now he may send you a Christian man that you can share your life with. And that man may fill a lot of needs but he will mess up, he'll come in from work and you will want to snuggle and he'll want to snore. He'll forget a birthday or say something that hurts your feelings. He's human but you should NEVER have to question his intentions, he should be there to be your partner and love you for the rest of your days ( Thank You Lord for Mitchell Roe my perfectly imperfect husband!) but he cannot complete you, he can't heal your heart from the misuse of those that came before him and he can never give you the true intimacy you desire ONLY GOD can fill that need!!! A few years ago I had my lightbulb moment and realized I was expecting my husband to fill roles made for Christ I can't begin to tell you how my heart changed when I straightened that out. Have I been perfect since then? No but I have recognized more quickly when setting my self up for a let down because of placing expectations on people who will never fill them. Jesus truly is the lover of my soul. He loves me for all the right reasons and since the day I said I do to him as a 13 year old girl he has never stopped holding me. Give your heart to Christ, it's the only place it will be safe. 

Awake.

Awake, O sleeper,


and arise from the dead,

and Christ will shine on you.”

Ephesians 5:14
 
I feel like this verse was written for me. If you read the chapter surrounding this verse you will see a list of things done in "the dark" and a warning to stay away from those things. Then the Bible tells us that when anything is exposed and brought to the light it becomes visible. It is no longer hidden, it can be dealt with. 
 
Well for a few months I went to sleep. I just laid down and took a nap...in the dark. But here is the issue when you have been in the light you will never be satisfied with the dark. I got sidetracked. I had two surgeries,last time I thought or prayed about adoption it was summertime the August heat was upon us and I was praying for a job that I could get insurance with so that I could be sure that all of our children were taken care of medically. Then I got the job. Before I knew it Halloween came, Thanksgiving came, Christmas came, New Years came,  and here I am 6 months down the road, we haven't applied for adoption, we have no money saved, and out there somewhere there is a child (or there will be a child) that God picked just for us and we have done nothing about it. I have even said a few times...well since my surgery I don't know that I could handle another child. I also said my kids are older and easier now I don't know if I want another child. Ugly isn't it. Human nature. The want to be comfortable, the want to do what's easy, the want to do what every one else does...but it's not enough.
 
Proverbs 24:10 If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small. 11 Rescue those who are being taken away to death; hold back those who are stumbling to the slaughter.12 If you say, "Behold, we did not know this," does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who keeps watch over your soul know it, and will he not repay man according to his work?
 
When I read that scripture I can't stand myself...If anyone was ever taken away to death...it would be the orphans. Maybe not all of them are in immediate danger of physical death but I went to Ch*na, I looked into the faces of children without a family, trust me they are dying inside. They need a Mom and Dad. They need a home. They need love. And I need to obey. Please pray for our family. We have to make some decisions, sooner rather than later...I don't want another 6 months to pass, I don't want to fall asleep. I want to be wide awake and busy about my Father's business.
 
In Christ Alone,

Sherri

Little is much when God is in it!

41 And he sat down opposite the treasury and watched the people putting money into the offering box. Many rich people put in large sums. 42 And a poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which make a penny. 43 And he called his disciples to him and said to them, “Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the offering box. 44 For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.” Mark 12:41-44

This is the story of The Widow's Offering. I have read it several times but today I want to concentrate on a few words in the 44th verse. "but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on." I figured out what she gave and in today's time she would have given about $1.86. Not much is it? Well Jesus thought it was something.

God showed out today in my life, he taught me a lesson, one that I have to lay my Pride down and tell you about. I have been in places of abundance in my life and I have given "large" (in my world anything over $100 is large...lol. We are rich people but just not as far as the bank is concerned!) amounts to causes that God has laid on my heart. I have to admit it hasn't really made that much of a difference...didn't mean that much...didn't cost me alot...I still had plenty. But these days things are different. Because of my 2 surgeries in the last 4 months and because I am out of work on Short Term Disability and because Christmas was last month, and because our tax return is going to be non-existent this year...well we just don't have a lot of money to give these days. Don't get me wrong, God has supplied every need. We have food to eat, gas in our cars, money for things the kids need, we just don't have a lot of money left over at the end of the month...or at the end of the week some weeks. But that is fine. God taught me a long time ago to be satisfied with little or with much. Sometimes my sweet husband gets a little miffed that I don't worry about finances but I just can't worry. God has taken care of me time and time again. I can't help but trust Him! Anyway like I said right now is NOT a time when we have a lot of money to give but today God gave us a chance not once but twice to give out of our "need" (I use that word in quotations because the situation I am in is NOT poverty as the verse says, to most of the world they would consider themselves rich to have the exact same resources as I have...it is just a place of need compared to where we have been when I was healthy and working 40 hours a week.)

I am not going to tell you how he let us give because I think it's better not to let the left hand know what the right hand is doing but God worked things out so that we were able to give abundantly even when we did not have an abundance of money.

In one situation I was aware of the need and I longed to help. It was for a great cause and my heart just "gets" the people I wanted to give to. I was on my way to the doctor today and I was telling my husband I want to help them. I want to give I wish we had it to give. By the time I got home God had shown me a way to give and as I write this post that family has benefited from what God gave me to do. God's word is true and when we make the desires of our heart line up with His will He will make those desires come to pass! I just can't stop praising Him! Thank You God for being able to use nothing and turn it into something!! Remember LITTLE IS MUCH WHEN GOD IS IN IT!

In Christ Alone,

Sherri

P.S. I want to say one more thing...God showed me last night that I had a bit of an addiction to my IP*d touch and to my Fac*book account, He convicted me and I decided to fast from both for 24 hours. I truly believe that I would have missed both of my chances if I had my focus on that IP*d and Fac*book all day. I am not saying that using those things are a sin, I am just saying sometimes we need to see how much time we are spending on that stuff compared to how much time we are spending in God's word and ministering to His people. I am going to make sure that I keep my time in check. I don't want to be addicted to anything except Christ, His Word, His People, and His Presence! Just thought someone else might need to hear that as well! God Bless!!

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING!

God is so real. I know that seems like such a silly statement. But the REALITY of HIM is so wonderful that it has me breathless. His Spirit is such a rich wealth. I know sometimes I take it for granted but where HIS SPIRIT is there are healing, freedom, salvation, power, and so much more.


I have been listening to an online service and even though I am sitting in my bedroom. I can feel the Holy Spirit all over me. It is everything I can do to keep myself sitting here at these keys. In the service I am watching there was just a soul saved. The Spirit of God is THE MOST IMPORTANT thing we can have in today’s church and sadly it is the one thing that is THE MOST LEFT OUT. We come in at an appointed time, we have our appointed prayer, our appointed songs, our appointed message and we go back to our appointed cars and drive to our appointed homes. The problem is that we need less appointment and more anointment.

God would rather that we have one anointed service that HIS SPIRIT is the MAIN ATTRACTION at than a weeks worth of perfectly planned productions. I am convinced that it is up to us. The sons and daughters of God to show this world that they are missing something and it’s not there name on a church role, it’s GOD’S SPIRIT!

They will never come to church just because we have so much fun, they will never come because our program is so well put together. The thing that will bring hungry hearts to Christ is to allow our own hearts to be come ravenous for CHRIST and HIS SPIRIT.

Then we must FEED on the WORD of God and allow HIS WORD to shape who we are. I know that God is doing some reshaping in my life.

Take me LORD! MAKE ME DISAPPEAR! I want anyone who looks on me to only see YOU!

Hello Friends!

* insert quiet clearing throat sound here* Umm Hello bloggy friends, I have missed you guys. I love you all. I have been on-line for a little while catching up with some of you, reading your blogs, looking at your pictures, and feeling very ashamed of myself. You see part of my calling is to pray for those like-minded people who are adopting or have adopted or will adopt but I have been kinda in love with my flesh, and blinded by my pet sins for a few weeks. I have sort of been in limbo. As I have told you before to read your stories and to follow your journeys has a tendency to make my heart bleed quite a bit and I decided to take a break but unconfessed sin is still sin and an unfulfilled calling is still a calling and things have been pretty miserable here in the land of disobedience so I think I better get off my kester and do a little something.

I can't visit bloggyland as often because I homeschool 20 hours a week and work 30 hours a week outside the home but I can visit for a few minutes every day and I can spend a couple of minutes blogging. I can let people in...matter of fact I need to.

My back, that I firmly believe God touched and healed, has begun to give me fits again. My left leg is completely numb and my left knee is in bad shape. I am in MAJOR pain and I have an appointment with my the surgeon who did my first surgery on Wednesday. Please pray about all of this.

We are leaving for a MUCH needed vacation on Thursday and I know that this will lift my spirits, being at the ocean is always a time of soul searching and renewal for me. It reminds me of my BIG huge GOD and I really need that now. I am going to go catch up with a few more of you and then start to pack. Love you all!
In Christ Alone,

Sherri

Sunday Snapshot: My Moms

Not every girl is blessed to have two Moms in their lives.

My Mom and "Other Dad" Helen and Andy

The one who birthed me is Helen and she is fun loving, giving, and feisty.

She wiped my nose and put band aids on my boo boo's.

She held my hair when I got sick after my first drink (and yelled at me while I had a headache...and cooked food and made me eat it...)

She dried my tears when my first boyfriend, Thomas, broke my heart.

She loves me unconditionally.

She is my Mom and I love her very much!

But I guess God knew that I was a special case and when I was 15 years old my parents divorced and about six months later my Dad started dating Darlene. Eleven years ago Friday she became my "Other Mother" (We hate the term Step-Mother you stand on a step, you love a Mother!)

My Dad and "Other Mom" Jack and Darlene

Lene became my friend first.

She took me places and listened when I talked.

She ran interference with my Dad for me.

She wiped my tears when my last boyfriend; before my husband man came along; broke my heart.

She treats me as if I were her biological child.

She loves me unconditionally.

She is my Mom and I love her very much!

Both of my Moms love my children, they kiss their boo boo's and they wipe their noses. They hold their hair when they are sick. They cook for us; they pray for us, they are amazing.

My Moms are so different. They have different interests and hobbies, they have different tastes in music, they have different styles in clothes, but they are both gifts from God and I praise His name everyday for seeing fit to bless me with two Moms. He blessed me with a great set of Dad's as well but father’s day will be here soon so I will save that post till then.

Between THE Rock and a weak place.

Have you ever wanted something so badly that you could taste it? I mean have you ever longed for something in a way that hurt your heart? Have you thought about something until it consumed your every waking minute? Have you planned and dreamed and prayed about one thing until you are completely empty?

I sure have.

And today it feels like too much. My soul longs for another child. I know there are needy children out there I know they need a home, my heart knows that my family is not complete. My arms ache to rock a little one to sleep, my hands long to wash little clothes, but most of all my soul longs for another child to call my own. I can't really explain why. For years I said I was finished. I have two wonderful children and my life is full of wonderful minutes spent taking care of them. I know God had to allow me to think I was finished so that I would make the medical decisions necessary for me to be able to live my life and not just go through the motions. I also know that if I had been able to have more children on my own I would not have thought about adoption as readily. Over the last two years God has clearly shown me that adoption is in our future. I know that I will have at least one more child and I know that it is just a matter of timing but lately I have been feeling very...jaded, I guess.

First of all my husband is SO practical. That trait has served us well since I am all about dreaming big and without him reigning me back in I would have made some very foolish decisions over the years. However it is not easy for someone that is so practical to look at the numbers behind adding another child to your family and then say, "I don't know where the $15k will come from but God will provide." That is just out of his comfort zone. I know that he trusts God but that kind of monetary commitment is not something he makes lightheartedly. Unfortunately this has left me feeling as if I need to "convince" him that we should adopt. Please know that my husband is a great man, a wonderful father, and a devoted husband and I know he only has our family’s best interest at heart.

But just to be honest it is a really big load to carry. Some days I do not feel like I am capable of adopting a child, some days I am tired and ill. Some days I am frustrated with my children, some days I have laundry pilled up and I can not fathom the ideal of adding another child’s laundry to it. Some days I think about the fact that my son will be 18 in 11 years and I will be finished mothering small children and then I think about adding a newborn to the mix in about a year and I think oh wow that means I will have 19 more years of mothering. Sometimes I just don't want to be positive about this whole process. Maybe I don't know where the money will come from, maybe I don't know how we will raise three children, and maybe I don't know how we will pay for college for three kids. MAYBE I DON'T HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS. Maybe I need to be convinced to adopt...only there is no one to do that. But, I cannot get away from James 1:27

“Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction and to keep oneself unstained from the world.”

I cannot get away from the Holy Spirit's leading; I cannot get away from God's plan. And honestly I don't want to get away from any of it. I have walked contrary to His Word before and I know where it got me Shipwrecked, Messed Up, Stressed Out. I want to be what He wants me to be. It's just that today I feel like he called the wrong girl. Today I feel that He meant to call someone else, someone healthier, someone richer, someone better with money, someone who has it all together. That's not me. But He knows me and He doesn't make mistakes so I guess the only thing left to be adjusted is my attitude. Please pray for me dear bloggy friends. I need Him to be STRONG in my weak places.

Memorial Box Monday: A Kiss

My Memorial Box Monday post is just a simple little story that some might find silly but I believe that God is into the details of my life and I believe that he knows just what I need and he takes pleasure in providing it for me, when he deems it appropriate.

When my children were smaller my husband worked some crazy hours he worked 12 hour shifts three or four days in a row. He worked midnights 5:45 p.m. till 6 a.m. it was so hard to take care of the kids and work and do all of the other things I was doing and often after three or four days of only seeing him for 15 minutes before work and having the kids alone I was struggling. One week he was working Monday-Thursday and it was Wednesday and I was on my way home from a long hard day at work, I had only seen him in passing the three days before and I knew that I was just going to pass him on his way out the door and then I would have to get the kids ready, do supper, and get to church all in less than two hours and I was feeling VERY overwhelmed. I was driving across town on my way home and I was just pouring my heart out to God. I was talking to him like I would my earthly father and I was crying and just telling him that I was overwhelmed, and tired, and lonely. I told him I felt like no one understood and like no one cared. It was a low moment for me. I was hurting, and tired, I needed a pick me up. Well my Wonderful Jesus knew just what I needed. I was driving in front of the courthouse downtown and I got caught by a red light. I looked over at the courthouse and I saw my friend Raymond. Raymond is in his mid to late 60's he goes to the church I went to at the time and he is precious (That is him in the picture). He always says "God loves you, just let him." He is just so precious and I love him with all of my heart. Since both of my grandfathers have passed Raymond is my stand in. He always gives me a smile and a hug and I just think the world of him. Well on that day I looked over and I saw Raymond and I waved and he waved and all of a sudden Raymond did something out of character for him. You see Raymond is a great guy but he is a "Man's Man" he likes to fish, and he holds an elected position in our county and he is not a man that just goes around being silly, but standing on the middle of the Courthouse square, Raymond put his hand to his lips and blew me the sweetest kiss you ever saw. At first it kinda surprised me, like I said Raymond isn't the blowing kisses sort but he sure did blow me a kiss. The second I saw it I felt the Holy Spirit come over me and I heard my precious savior whisper, "That kiss was from me." Then the Holy Spirit began to flood my soul with scripture that told of God's great love and mercy. I knew at that moment that even though things were not easy and I was in a difficult time, He was with me. The Lover of my soul was hanging on my every word, he knew what I needed and he was willing and able to provide. Praise the Name of JESUS! That night at church I got to tell Raymond what that kiss meant to me and he said he didn't know why he did it that he really surprised himself by doing it! :-) I love it when God does something like that just for me!

The other day I saw a little silver Hershey's Kiss at a gift shop I think I will go and buy it and place it in my memorial box to help me remember that God is watching over me and that whenever I am feeling down he is always with me.

Israel: God's chosen people.

Watch this video to see Netanyahu explain what happened with the Gaza flotilla. I believe that it is our job to defend Israel. I think if we fail to support them that we put ourselves in a very bad place. Either you are for the God's chosen people or against. I for one never want to be against them. Join me in praying that our leaders will open their ears...and more importantly their hearts and allow our nation to remain an ally for Israel.




In Christ Alone,

Memorial Box Monday: The Purple Heart

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13

I am very grateful to live in a country where my freedoms are protected but I have often heard it said that freedom isn't free, it costs some men and women everything. I am very proud that my grandfather, Jack L. Epperson Sr. fought in WWII. He received the Purple Heart. 

I want to tell the story of how he received his Purple Heart for my Memorial Box Monday this week. During a battle my grandfather, Papaw Jack as we called him, was shot in the leg. He in turn shot the German soldier who shot him, killing him, the German soldier fell on top of him. Later the Germans were walking around stabbing any injured American soldiers with their bayonets when they came to my grandfather they saw the blood from the German soldier and the German soldier on top of  him and they thought he was dead so they did not stab him. When the German soldiers had passed he was able to push the dead soldier off of him and crawl until he found two twin Medics. The twins were not tall enough to enlist as soldiers so they joined the forces as medics. The medics took turns dragging my grandfather through the snow until they got him back to another group of American soldiers. They got him to a medical unit and eventually back home to marry my grandmother who he had met while working for her fathers saw mill. I can't help but see the hand of God all over this situation. God protected him and kept him safe and brought him back to be the Patriarch of our family. Papaw Jack was a wonderful man who spent his retired days when I came along taking me to eat Apple Pie's and planting potatoes in the garden. I don't believe I would be the woman I am today without his love poured all over my childhood. I am very thankful that God spared his life and I am thankful for those two twin medics who weren't "tall enough for the team". I believe that my aunt has my Papaw Jack's purple heart but I know it will eventually be passed to me and when it is I will add it to my Memorial Box to remind us that God will protect in every situation and that even when men say you aren't enough God can make you be exactly what a wounded warrior needs. I included a few pictures from the Memorial Day event we attended this morning, and also one of my beloved Papaw Jack from his days in WWII. Happy Memorial Day everyone!

Sunday Snapshot: In Love

These two, they have my heart, I am completely in love with both of them. I can tell you that the last week and a half with them at home has only cemented my will to homeschool. They are amazing, they are wonderful and they are mine. I might be a little biased but I am pretty sure that if you met them you would feel the same.

Now I am going to go and spread cream cheese on their bagels because I live for that sort of thing these days.

One blessed Mama,

P.S. Before I got this posted I ran in the kitchen to check the bagels and they were burnt...black....so I called Mitch who is preaching at an outreach of our church this morning and asked him to stop and get biscuits. Glad you don't have to be perfect to be a mom!

Thankful Thursday: No Grumbling Allowed!

Thankful Thursday

I have been a little grumpy today for no good reason but then I visited Renee at "My Autumn Years"  and remembered that I sure have a lot to be thankful for.

1. I am thankful for my relationship with Christ. He is so real in my life and I could not face this life without him.

2. I am thankful for my husband of the past 11 years. He has been out of town and he comes home today!

3. I am thankful for my children Sarah (10) and Colton (7) my mom just sent me this picture of them swimming. I am so glad they are healthy and happy.

4. I am thankful for my church family.

5. I am thankful for living in a country where I am free to homeschool and living in a community where I have such a great group of homeschool Mom's willing to help out a newbie.

6. I am thankful I do not have to work full time and I can enjoy these summer days with my children.

7. I am thankful for a loving Father, Step-Mother, Mother, and Step-Father who support us in all we do.

8. I am thankful for my loving Step-Mother, Mother, and Aunt who help with the kids during the times I do have to work. I could not leave them anywhere that I wasn't sure they would be taken care of completely.

9. I am thankful I have a roof over my head and food in my cabinets. (And for power, air conditioning, telephone, internet, indoor plumbing and all of the other comforts I take for granted.)

10. I am thankful God has opened my eyes to the needs of others and has lit a fire in my heart to help be a part of the solution.

Have you been grumbling and complaining today?! I challenge you to find 10 things to be thankful about today!

In Christ Alone,

The 3rd time is a charm.

So my soul can be sorta hard of hearing. You know sometimes God has to say things a couple times for me to get it. Well today he had to say it three times for me to really get it.

First of all I was listening to Natasha Bedingfield this morning. She is one of my favorite secular singers and I love listening to her music to get myself awake and going when I have a busy day. Well I was singing along with her this morning and the lyrics to one of her songs that I have always loved just stopped me in my tracks:

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined

I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Well when I heard that last line "ending unplanned" well the Holy Spirit just spoke to me and said..."That is a lie" I started thinking about it and as much as I love the meaning of that song (being that each day is new and you can make something out of each new day) the fact is my ending is not unplanned. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Proverbs 16:9 says "The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps."

Praise God my ending is not unplanned. My heavenly Father has an awesome plan for me. I am not undefined I am what He says I am. I am his daughter. I am a mother. I am a worshipper. I am a preacher and a teacher. I am exactly what he has called me to be and the things that I haven't became yet but that are in his plan I will become in his time.

As for being unwritten I read a quote today (2nd time God spoke to me) that read "I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is writing a love story to the world" -Mother Teresa. The story might be unwritten but the Author knows exactly what he will write, a love story to the world, and I have given myself over to play whatever part he wishes to give me.

Finally I read a post by Amber at "Striving for 31" and I knew that God had something he really wanted me to understand. There was this quote

"In some ways, I feel like I am handing Him the notebook of my life and I am turning the page to a blank one, inviting Him to write whatever He wants for today. Over and over again, I beg Him to come and write on my life. Without Him, my story is not worth reading. But with Him, I can't even imagine how it is going to turn out. It's that little thing we call redemption, I suppose!"

and also this quote

"I want to go beyond my comfort zone and let Him write the story on today's page. In a way, it's terrifying. But life isn't worth living if we live it only for ourselves. There is too much pain, too much sin, and too much sorrow. So instead, I choose Jesus. And I ask Him to pick up the pen and write His love over my life today."

Well I guess after a three point lesson it is time that I finally get it. God has a plan for my life. I can't hold on to the pen and try to make sure he writes it the way I want it. I wanted a little sweet China doll to become my daughter but he is writing in a story that involves a child from Ethiopian descent. I wanted to work full time and buy a home and a car and all of the other unimportant things we kill ourselves to posses. But God wrote a story about a Mom who took a step of faith and decided to cut back her hours and homeschool her children and choose to be active in every minute of their lives. In God's version I decide to stay in the home he gave me and drive the falling apart blessing of a car he gave me. In God's version people look at me like I am crazy when I say I want to help children in need of a home, when sometimes it's all we can do to keep our own two clothed and feed and educated. In God's story I choose to bite my tongue and pray for those who despitefully use me. (I won't tell you how it is handled in my version but it involves tar and feathers. :-) In God's version I choose to walk out the dream he gave me for Operation Giggle and Sarah's Hope and in my version I just mark those things off the list as things I just don't have the energy to do. In God's version I chose to help others and do without...I am not to that part yet and I have some growing to do before I get there. (Can I just pause right here and say in my version I might punch Dave Ramsey in the mouth. I know, I know, he is a great man with great ideas about saving and living with-in your means but if my flesh were in charge I would just give him a right hook...I'm just saying...)

But the great part is that God sees the big picture. He see's what I can't see. He has my best in mind. He doesn't have his mind changed by his daughters groaning and complaining. He will do what is best for me. He is God Alone...without my help. Unchangeable, Unbreakable, Unstoppable...that is what he is.

So I will rest easy knowing that he is on my side and he will not change, break, or stop until my life reads like a classic.

In Christ Alone,

Memorial Box Monday ~ Homeschooling on a Shoestring

We made the decision to homeschool a month or so ago, we prayed about it and thought about it for sometime before that and we felt that God was leading us to do it. So I researched curriculum and I picked it all out and priced it and I was thinking it would cost us about $599. Well I found out about several used book sales in the area so on Thursday I went to two of them and when I walked into the first place I found Sarah's grammar book that I was prepared to pay almost $20 plus tax and shipping for and it was only $10.00. Well we left there and went to another sale and I told my Step-Sister Ashley and the kids what I was looking for, the places was crowded and we were about 10th in line to go in, when the doors opened the first table I went to had my Science curriculum and the lady there told me the workbooks were free on-line, the book was only $15.00 so the Science that I was prepared to spend $140.00 on cost me $15.00! A few minutes later Ashley yelled for me and she had found my History curriculum for $15.00 and it was in great shape! We also found some teaching aids and a large map there and I got about $100.00 worth of History Curriculum for about $38.00. Well I had been a little on the fence about what to do for Colton's Grammar curriculum and I really wanted the Charlotte Mason Simply Grammar but it was a little pricy so I was going to settle for another book, well guess what I found at the sale?! A NEVER used Simply Grammar book for $10.00! So I spent $63.00 and got every bit of my curriculum except for the Simply Spelling book I want and our Math Curriculum (still a little on the fence with what to use there...any suggestions?!).

I knew I felt God leading me into this path but I can tell you it sure felt GREAT to have the material I needed practically handed to me for a small percentage of what I planned on paying. Not to mention I also wanted some organizational shelves and things for my homeschool room and I got the cubes I have stared at for several months on CLEARANCE for $19.00 each, and I found a great little three shelf organizer at a yard sale for $3.00 and at one of the book fairs a lady had a rolling shelf for sale and as she picked it up to show it to me the top shelf broke and she said "Oh well, you can have it for $1.00" well I gave her a dollar and my husband fixed it in about 10 seconds.

Our map and a few posters and charts.

My beloved cubes with our curriculum inside!

A poster and a Cursive Alphabet guide.

The window into my kitchen and two pie graph’s the kids did today.

Mom’s corner, my chair, my yard sale find (on the right), and some art supplies.

A close up of the cubes.

I have only spent $200.00 on anything to do with homeschooling and a family member emailed me to tell me they want to give me $100.00 toward our supplies so I really have only spent $100.00! Praise the Lord for His Provision! So here are some pictures of my new homeschool room! Praise God for giving us just what we need when we need it! I will put a picture of my beloved cubes in my memorial box to remind me that when you say "YES!" to God's way he will provide everything you need to walk the path.

Exhausted yet pursuing

Judges 8:4 And Gideon came to the Jordan and crossed over, he and the 300 men who were with him, exhausted yet pursuing,

I read this scripture from Judges today and it really got me thinking about some things.

I need to set this story up a little bit so I have to go back to Chapter 6, I am not going to retell the whole story but stick with me for just a minute here...basically Gideon was an Israelite living in captivity to the Midianites. When the story opens he is beating out wheat in a winepress trying to hide it from the Midianites to keep them from stealing it. the angel of the Lord appears to him and he has an encounter that changes his life, you really should read it for yourself to appreciate how little he thought of himself and his own abilities but it might remind you of yourself just a little bit, I know it was very familiar to me. It went something like, my family tree is full of nuts and my father’s branch has more nuts than any of the rest of them. Have you ever felt like that? God calls you to something and you look around like "WHO ME?" Anyway read past all of that and you will see God take 35,000 men and narrow them down to 300 and then proceed to take down the Midianites. Some of the Midianites fled and part of that group were two princes and two kings, well Gideon caught the princes and was hot on the trail of the kings and that brings us to Judges 8:4 the 300 men (all 300 of them, he hadn't lost one man) were exhausted yet pursuing. Well Gideon asked two cities for some loaves of bread and both of them made fun of him and refused so Gideon promised that when he did capture those kings he would be back to take care of both of those cities and God gave the 300 men strength to keep going and in 8:13-17 you can read about him "taking care of business" with both of those cities. The battle was won anyway and God got all of the glory!

This all got me thinking about our adoption situation. I believe God calls us all to help orphans (Read James 1:27 if you don't believe me). I believe it causes him JOY to hear one of his children make the commitment to adopt an orphaned child but this adoption road isn't easy. I mean we are not really even started and I feel a little weary already. I fell in love with a child prayed for her, loved on her from afar and then she was matched with another family and China told us we didn't qualify for their program. Well I can tell you that was a punch in the gut. I have tried to be strong about it but I have found myself in tears a couple of times. I know God has her best and our best in mind and I am so happy for her and her family. It's just hard to want a child and pursue a child and be told no. But God has shown me again tonight that even though I am exhausted I have to be pursuing. Somewhere on this earth there is a little boy or girl growing in a mother’s tummy that, due to the realities of this harsh world, is going to need a family. I have to keep my eyes set on the mark and ignore those "hunger pains" and turn my longing for another child into motivation to do what is necessary to be able to welcome a child into our home. Believe me not everyone is behind our choice to adopt. There are those that refuse bread and mock us. But just like Gideon did I will pursue what God has called me to do and I will allow God to provide. (Now unlike Gideon I will choose not to make a big statue out of golden earrings and worship it...but that is another post for another day!) I hope you all have a great week and remember even when you are exhausted PURSUE that thing God has for you!!!

The answer

Well the CCAA answered and it was a No. I had prepared my heart for this. I don't believe they said no because we were outside of their guidelines, I beleive they said no because this is not what God has for our family at this moment in time. I am sad, for the sweet little girl we wanted and for me. But, I will TRUST in His plan. This was no surprise to Him and I have to admit it really wasn't a surprise for me. God knows that we have a heart for orphans and I believe He will add to our family, it just won't be through a Chinese adoption. I am ok with that. I want His will in my life whatever that is. That is really all I feel like saying about it for now. Please keep us in your prayers.

IN CHRIST ALONE,

My heart sings....I AM FREE

I am so excited!!! I went to a BCHE meeting last night. That is our Home Education Group here in our little town. I was AMAZED by the women there and I cannot wait to jump into Homeschooling! All the questions that had hung over me like a weight were answered and although I know I have a LOT of hard work ahead of me and when I think about getting my mess of a house wonderful home organized and ready for this it makes me want to take a nap. I know I am capable and I really can't wait to get started!


Please pray about my job. I have let my Manager know of our plans and I have worked out a schedule that will allow me to work between 5 and 20 hours per week and still do homeschool and attend church. I am hoping that they will let me go permanent part-time because this would make health insurance available to me. I know that God is in control and I trust him to have his way in all of this!

We have 6 more days of school and then the Roe Family will be FREE of the constraints of the school system and we will be able to set our curriculum and our schedule around the plans that God has for our lives. Who knows we may even get to take a field trip to China in the next year or so! God is working on our behalf and I am waiting on bated breath to see what He is going to do in our lives. I know that I felt Him call us to homeschool and I know that He has also called us to adoption...His Word tells us that obedience is better than sacrifice and I can't help but think that the steps we have taken in the last few weeks have made our Heavenly Father smile. I don't pretend for one minute that we haven't also made Him frown or cry because of our sins and shortcomings... we are human end of story. But for some reason or the other HE LOVES US and I am so glad to know He is on my side!



In Christ Alone,

Memorial Box Monday:In His Hands

Today I have a lot that I want to say and not a lot that I am allowed to say. So instead I'll do a Memorial Box Monday post with sweet Linny over at A Place Called Simplicity which is a page I visit sometimes, even if she hasn't blogged, just to listen to her playlist! We have the same taste in music...anything that glorifies HIM is ok with me!

This Memorial Box Moment happened when I was quite young, about 6 years old I guess, but I still remember it like it was yesterday! As a child I was vexed with nose bleeds from the time I was a little over one year old. My mom found me in a pool of blood one morning and finally calmed herself down enough to realize it was coming from my nose. From that time on I went through countless trips to the ER to get my nosed packed and I had somewhere around 6 surgeries (or maybe it was 9 I can't really remember) to try to cauterize my weak blood vessels. This particular time I had my tonsils removed and I had my nose cauterized in the same surgery. The doctors stressed how important it was that I did not throw up. This was an issue for me because the anesthesia had a history of making me very sick. After the surgery I fought and fought to keep from getting sick. For days I fought it but finally a few days after the surgery I just couldn't help myself. I was afraid I would get in trouble so I didn't tell anyone. So after about four times of throwing up nothing but pure blood I finally told my Daddy. I remember him grabbing the phone and dialing my doctor while telling mom to get me ready to go. The doctor told my parents not to wait for an ambulance to get me to the ER immediately. I remember my mom calling my grandfather to pick my sister up and I remember my sister standing on the edge of our porch in her pj's by herself and us pulling out of the driveway as my grandfather turned on our road. I was so scared my Dad was a Pastor of a small church and they had just purchased him a 1985 Buick LeSabre (just like the one in this picture only it was Maroon) because we drove so far back and forth to church.

Well I remember being in the back seat with my mom and I was still throwing up, I just couldn't stop! Our main road here in Cleveland is APD 40 it is the "short-cut" to town and my Dad loves stopping here when he is telling this story to say it wasn't even open yet, it was about to open and so he used it to get to the hospital faster, he just likes me to know that I am older than the road I travel everyday :-) Thanks Dad!

Anyway we were on APD 40 and we were coming down a big hill and my Dad had the car "pegged out" as he says basically he was going as fast as the car would go and the speedometer couldn't keep up. When we were coming down that hill I remember saying "Pray Mama Pray" and I remember my Mom and Dad starting to pray and at that exact moment the front two tires on that brand new car blew out. I remember the car starting to spin and then just as quick as it started I believe the hand of God touched that car and it stopped. At the bottom of that hill was one of the busiest intersections in Cleveland but since it was kinda late at night there were no cars there that I had noticed on the way down the hill. However when the car got finished spinning there were not one, not two, but three police cars sitting at that red light and one detective. The detective and his wife had been coming home from eating dinner and they got me and my parents in their car...all I can remember is the car was white and ALL the interior of that car was white and I remember thinking oh my goodness I am going to get red blood all over their white car! They drove us straight to the ER and the Police Officers told my dad that they would bring his car to the hospital.  We got to our local hospital and they couldn't get the blood stopped they said I would have to go by ambulance to a Children’s hospital 30 miles away. My mom rode with me in the ambulance and my dad walked outside to see us off before he called someone to come get him and his car was sitting there with the spares out of those officers’ cars on it. They had changed the tires and brought it up there so he followed the ambulance. We got to T.C. Thompson's Children Hospital and I was still bleeding from the ripped stitches in my throat, the doctors came in and tried all they could and they went back out and told my parents that they had done everything they knew to do and that I was still bleeding. But Praise God I serve a God who likes to work when NOTHING else will. The hand of God came down again and touched my throat and for reasons that the doctors could not explain my throat stopped bleeding instantly. I did not need a transfusion;  God took care of the problem. I had to spend several days in the hospital, I think that was because the doctors couldn't believe it and expected it to start back up at any moment but my Miracle-working, Mountain-moving, Awe-inspiring, Gasp-giving* God had big plans for my life and he healed me completely that day!

(*I borrowed that from Linny...Sorry Linny! but isn't that a PERFECT description of him?!) So when I find my "perfect" Memorial Box I am going to put in a Matchbox car that looks something like that Maroon Buick to remind me that even when situations spin out of control God's hand will guide you into perfect provision.

The thing that sticks out to me today about that day is that in the time of trouble I can call on Him (Pray Mama Pray) and He will keep what I have placed in His hands. So today as I wait on an answer about whether or not a current circumstance will stand in the way of our journey to our sweet, sweet Brooklyn Jane I am doing one thing...Mama is Praying! This is a mountain (there were actually two small mountains and one large one and God has already moved the two small ones right out of the way!) and I am asking my Mountain-moving God to MOVE IT! God Bless You All!

UPDATED TO ADD: The mountain that was standing in our way recieved an answer and the answer was No. God is still in control and I know that when the time is right to add to our family God will do so in the way He chooses. We are trusting Him and looking at all the options. Please continue to pray!

2 Timothy 1:8-14

 Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God, who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began, and which now has been manifested through the appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus, who abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel, for which I was appointed a preacher and apostle and teacher,  which is why I suffer as I do. But I am not ashamed, for I know whom I have believed, and I am convinced that he is able to guard until that Day what has been entrusted to me. Follow the pattern of the sound words that you have heard from me, in the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. By the Holy Spirit who dwells within us, guard the good deposit entrusted to you.

In Christ Alone,

The Roe's Get Schooled

To Homeschool or not to Homeschool that is the question...


Well we have been praying and thinking and praying and thinking and we are down to the wire now. We really need to decide what we are going to do about school next year.

We LOVE our school and we had WONDERFUL teachers this year but I have been uneasy lately. I don't know if any other mom's feel this way or not but I just feel like God has called me to an awesome ministry...MOTHERHOOD....and then he gave me two little precious gifts that I chose to call Sarah Ann and Colton Jack and I enjoyed them and loved them and took care of them and then they turned 5 and I sent them away for 7 hours everyday. 7 hours a day I give them into the hands of others to mold them and teach them. Now I can tell you that if I think for one second that they have been taught something contrary to the Word of God I tell them that whoever taught them that was WRONG. End of story. My dad likes to say the Word of God is truth and every man a liar. I agree. But for 7 hours I don't have the ability to speak in their ear and tell them that God loves them and that I love them. For 7 hours they don't read the bible one time, for 7 hours I don't see their smiles or kiss their lips. That's somewhere around 1260 hours a year that I lose with them. And that is just not ok with me.

The second issue is that Colton is behind in reading. He is reading at 2nd grade 1st month and he is about to be finished with 2nd grade. I think that he needs more one on one time to get him on grade level or better yet ahead of grade level. In every other subject Colton is on target or ahead. Sarah is ahead in almost every subject and I am afraid she is getting a little bored. I just think I could fashion a school day for them that would cater to both of their needs and wants. I know this would be a BIG task and I don't think it's for wimps...which I tend to be a little wimpy...lol. But I just keep feeling God drawing me to do this.

I have a friend that I met back in China in September of 2008 who just happens to live in the same state as me (about 2 hours away) who homeschools. I have gotten lots of advice from her and I have actually decided to use some of the same literature as she is using (ok actually all the same literature but what can I say it all looked GREAT and I know nothing about where to start so I figured if we do this for and something doesn't fit with my kiddos I can adjust.) I am so thankful for those connections we make in life that make doing what God is calling us to seem a little more attainable!

Anyway lest we think I just accepted this like a good little girl let me tell you I have thought of several reasons this just wouldn't work...so here is a play by play of what my conversations have been with God...this happened over months not in one setting...THANK GOODNESS because it takes time to admit your wrong, well at least it does for me.

Me: I have to work.
God: Well yes you do but you can work from 3-8 and still get in part-time hours.

Me: I have NO ROOM!
God: Well actually you have a dining room and it is way big enough.
Me: (in a really whiney voice) But then I have to take all of my beautiful pictures down and that is my only "frilly" room.
God: Really Sherri?! What matters most a frilly room or the difference this could make in the lives of your children?!
Me: Wow...flesh stinks. The children matter most of course. (Again I didn't get to that answer without a few weeks and God stepping on my toes a few hundred times.)

Me: What about socialization...they'll turn into weird shy homeschool kids.
God: Their your kids...they are already weird... (HAHA just kidding I thought that on my own but I know He thinks it!)
God: YMCA, BCHE, ECT!

So honestly I am just getting sick of fighting it. I am not sure if Mitch is completely on board or not but I am leaving that up to God if he can convince me to keep my kids home with me 365 days a year I am sure he can convince my husband to let me.

Now that I have given into the fact that this will most likely be the route we take I am actually having fun with it so if there are any other homeschooling mom's who have ideas or advice I am welcome to it!

These are my top five questions for now.

1. What reading curriculum do your recommend?
2. What if my child has an IEP how can I continue to get Speech therapy for him?
3. How long do you devote to each subject (per day)?
4. How do you deal with behavior during school hours? Dad usually does the spanking around here and I would really like to use some other methods during school hours. (I want to say I DO believe in spanking and I feel like it is what I am commanded to do through the Word but I know if they were in school they would be expected to offer great behavior without the threat of spanking and I want to do the same. They are great kids but they FIGHT all the time!)
5. Do you know where I can get any good deals on storage cabinets or bookshelves for our school room?!

I am really looking forward to this...most of all I want to find JOY in our JOURNEY. I also want to do what is pleasing to my Heavenly Father, after all when the day is done that is all that really matters!

In Christ ALONE,

Help the VanDruff Family!

Please visit the link below to learn about a family who really needs our help!

http://blessingsfromethiopia.blogspot.com/2010/05/help-thon-for-van-druff-family.html

God Bless!