Mother's Day

So I'm in the middle of getting this blog updated it has some very old pictures on it...my sweet best friend is going to fix that for me but I had a post I had written just for Mother's Day and didn't want to wait to post it!

Mother’s Day, it’s a time that I normally sit and think about how lucky I am to have not one but two Mom’s and how I am so glad that I have had their love and guidance in my life. But this year feels a little different, don’t get me wrong I am still VERY thankful for Mom and Lene and I could tell them so every single day and it still wouldn’t feel like enough to show my gratitude, but this year just has a different feel to me. It could be that Sarah is now a TEEN and is starting school in August at GPS, or it might be that Colton is going to be entering Jr. High in August and I’m going to be attending his Elementary Graduation in 5 short days, but I’m feeling a little emotional. Fact is I have spent the last 13 years with my whole self wrapped up in these little lives. I love them so much, so much that it’s truly PAINFUL. I know you other Mama’s know what I’m talking about. I’ve had the privilege of carrying two children around in my belly for 9 months; I alone felt their first movement. I laughed with their first hiccups, and winced with their first kicks. (On a side note, isn’t life a miracle?! God uses a man and woman and allows them to partner with him to bring a little person into this world. Wow.) I watched the man of my dreams hold them for the first time and kiss their little heads and I loved him all over again and deeper than before. I was puked on, peed on and pooped on more times than I want to count. (Colton never missed his mark!) I lived through the Terrible Two’s and the Terrific Threes, I sent them off to Pre-K and trusted two of the sweetest women I’ve ever met with them for a few hours a day, I walked them into Kindergarten and left them crying for me (and called my Mom’s and cried on them), so many more memories, so many more milestones, I could go on all day…seriously. I think the thing that gets me is in 5 short years that first little life, my sweet Sarah is going to be leaving the nest, she has great big dreams and she is making the hard choice to leave her friends, her place of comfort, and go to Girls Preparatory School where she knows no one. She told me the other night, “Mom, I’m going to miss my friends so much but I know if I didn’t do this I would be so mad at myself for missing this opportunity.” (Wait is that my kid? Not taking the easy way, choosing what’s best instead of what feels best? I want a DNA test; I’m not very good at that. ) I know that she will continue to choose what is best for her and I have no doubts that those choices will lead her all over this big world. And my Colton Jack, in 7 short years he will be heading to college, (we are thinking he would look GREAT in Orange) he dreams of playing football and being in some sort of law enforcement like his Dad. I know God has big plans for him and I can’t wait to see what he accomplishes. But here is the problem…you see 5 years ago I had an 8 year old and a 5 year old. Kindergarten and Second Grade at Michigan Avenue, didn’t that just happen yesterday?!  Plus during the last 5 years they needed me, to cut waffles, to kiss boo boo’s, to walk them into school. Sarah has a field trip Monday, Mitchell and I are simply not cool enough to attend. (I don’t know whose DNA she thinks she is carrying…she’s gonna be as cool as we are someday…I’m sure she is so ecstatic.)  Fact is they are both growing up and this is THAT season, it’s the trusting, and cutting the apron string a little at a time, and the letting go season. And I know I HAVE to do it. I’ve saw “THOSE MOM’S” you know who I’m talking about (I even have a few FB friends that could fall into the category) the mom’s who REFUSED to let go, who refused to let their kids grow up and move on and be happy even if that meant they lived somewhere else, or did something for a living that made their Mama’s palms sweat. I don’t want to be her…she’s the one that has to BEG for a phone call or visit…because when her kids show up she SMOTHERS them to death…it should be called SMOTHERS DAY for some ladies…you know I’m right. I don’t want to be a SMOTHER, I want to be Mom, the one they love and they know loves them. So I’m trying to start now…small steps…expecting them to be responsible, trusting them more every day. Letting them mess a few things up. It’s rough. Knowing I could do it better, faster, more efficiently, but the point is THEY need to learn how to do it. My kids are adjusting, no actually they are excelling! That should make me happy right, Me, Mitch and God did something right! But it makes me want to lay in the floor and pitch a fit! Baby steps…that’s what it’s gonna take. So this mother’s day my computer wallpaper says “She took a deep breath & let it go” and that is the mindset I’m trying to put myself in…not an all at once release but a series of deep breaths and small steps toward the goal of raising happy, healthy, independent, productive members of society, one day at a time. It’s not gonna be easy but it’s gonna be SO worth it! So to you ladies who find yourself in any of the moments I spoke of, carrying a baby, tending to a newborn, in the toddler years, in the school years, or already parents of adults: Happy Mother’s Day or Happy Smother’s Day you decide which one fits you!

Love is as strong as death!

Song of Solomon 8:6 says
"Set me as a seal upon your heart, 
 As a seal upon your arm; 
 For love is as strong as death, 
 Jealousy as cruel as the grave; 
 Its flames are flames of fire, 
 A most vehement flame."

I believe this verse is a warning label. I think God wanted us to understand the power of Love over a human. I think he wanted His daughters; His Princess to understand we should be careful who we give our hearts to. When God created men and women he wired us up differently, for a purpose. He told us to be fruitful and multiply. That's a two step process, be fruitful, or produce, so he puts inside men a want for women, they are visual, they see a woman and they want to be fruitful. Now they are not animals and a man being led by Christ will learn to control themselves. But women were made for the 2nd part of God's order, multiply, what good would having children be if they never made it through the baby stage? God gave women the heart of a nurturer, we want to hold someone, we want to be held, we want relationship. We crave intimacy, if you are 18 and single or 45 and married you still have the same want. Someone who can't live without you, someone who values you above all else. you want to be wanted and loved. The problem is that this mindset often draws people to you that want you but don't love you, they see a need they can fill, "whoa baby, you want to be wanted well I for sure want you!" but if we fall for that and give ourself to that kind of person we will be crushed when they act surprised that you also expect love and relationship. They seem to easily walk away while that "Love as strong as death" rips you into. Oh girl I have been there been right in the middle of that mess. I once asked a man if he loved me and his response was "I love you because you love me so much and you've always been so good to me." that will just warm your heart won't it? Not I love you because I am a better person with you or because you are my soul mate or because you are the one God made for me. Nope, basically he loved me based on what I had, was, or would do for him. So any self respecting woman would have got the spirit of slap and rung his jaws and walked away but me, I thought...well at least he loves me. I wish I could go back in time and get the spirit of slap and smack some sense into my own head!! Let me make this simple, God is the only one who will ever love you the way that fulfills your soul. Now he may send you a Christian man that you can share your life with. And that man may fill a lot of needs but he will mess up, he'll come in from work and you will want to snuggle and he'll want to snore. He'll forget a birthday or say something that hurts your feelings. He's human but you should NEVER have to question his intentions, he should be there to be your partner and love you for the rest of your days ( Thank You Lord for Mitchell Roe my perfectly imperfect husband!) but he cannot complete you, he can't heal your heart from the misuse of those that came before him and he can never give you the true intimacy you desire ONLY GOD can fill that need!!! A few years ago I had my lightbulb moment and realized I was expecting my husband to fill roles made for Christ I can't begin to tell you how my heart changed when I straightened that out. Have I been perfect since then? No but I have recognized more quickly when setting my self up for a let down because of placing expectations on people who will never fill them. Jesus truly is the lover of my soul. He loves me for all the right reasons and since the day I said I do to him as a 13 year old girl he has never stopped holding me. Give your heart to Christ, it's the only place it will be safe. 

Chicken Noodle Soup

I am home with Mitchell today and I just made a batch of my homemade Chicken Noodle Soup. It's a pretty basic recipe but I thought since I had some time on my hands I would post it so that if you don't have a Chicken Noodle Soup recipe of your own you can try this one next time someone is feeling under the weather...actually at our house we eat it when we are perfectly healthy too! Hope you enjoy!!

1 pkg boneless skinless chicken tenders
1 large can chicken broth
1 large (family size) can Camp*ells Cream of Chicken Soup
5-6 large carrots (washed and peeled)
1 large yellow onion diced
5-6 thin stalks of celery (washed and sliced)
Egg Noodles (My favorite is No Yolk's)
Salt and Pepper

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil add in chicken and boil until cooked, remove from water and skim off any excess fat. Add in carrots, onion, and celery. Dice chicken and add in with vegetables. Stir in Cream of Chicken Soup.

In a separate pot pour in canned Chicken Broth and bring to a boil, add in Egg Noodles and allow to cook until almost done, pour noodles and broth in with the chicken and vegetable mix. Salt and Pepper to taste.

I have found that when I cook the egg noodles in with the veggies and chicken they tend to break down quickly and I don't like mushy noodles. :-) So, I wait and add them at the end and let the whole mix cook on low for about 10 minutes. This makes a huge pot of soup we will eat on it for days. Just reheat on the stove and add in a little more chicken broth as needed!

Have a wonderful weekend!!

In Christ Alone,

Sherri

Just the three of us!

Well it has been quite awhile since I posted but things have been very busy. We are now moved into the new house and we have been here for a few months now. It finally feels like home. I still have some decorating to do but all in all things have been wonderful here.

Today my wonderful husband had Gallbladder surgery. I was thinking about how he has stood by me through so many surgeries. He has held my hand and prayed me through 2 C-Sections, an Ablation, a Hysterectomy, an Appendectomy, a Gallbladder Removal, and 2 back surgeries. If you are keeping count that would be 8. 8 times that he has kissed me bye as they rolled me into the OR. 8 times that he has sat in the waiting room and prayed that everything was ok. 8 times that the nurse called him in to the consultation room, 8 times that he's gotten good, bad and in between news from doctors. 8 times he has smiled at me as I opened my eyes in recovery, 8 times that he has fed me ice chips, and held my hair while I got sick (anesthesia and me are not friends.) 8 surgeries. 1 Amazing Man.

Well today I was able to return the favor, I held his hand a prayed with him, I kissed him bye, I prayed while he was in the OR, I stood up when the nurse called for his family, I listened as the doctor told me everything went great, and as I smiled at him when he was opening his eyes in recovery I thought "Man, this is what LOVE really feels like!" Love is not a funny feeling you get when you see a man, Love is not flowers for no reason, or a big diamond ring. Love is knowing that we have each other. No matter what. It's me, Him and God. And that my friend is the perfect picture of true love. Just the three of us. To hear more about what LOVE is go visit my Dad's new blog http://lastwordministries.blogspot.com/ if you visit leave a comment and let him know I sent you!

In Christ Alone,

Sherri D. Roe

Awake.

Awake, O sleeper,


and arise from the dead,

and Christ will shine on you.”

Ephesians 5:14
 
I feel like this verse was written for me. If you read the chapter surrounding this verse you will see a list of things done in "the dark" and a warning to stay away from those things. Then the Bible tells us that when anything is exposed and brought to the light it becomes visible. It is no longer hidden, it can be dealt with. 
 
Well for a few months I went to sleep. I just laid down and took a nap...in the dark. But here is the issue when you have been in the light you will never be satisfied with the dark. I got sidetracked. I had two surgeries,last time I thought or prayed about adoption it was summertime the August heat was upon us and I was praying for a job that I could get insurance with so that I could be sure that all of our children were taken care of medically. Then I got the job. Before I knew it Halloween came, Thanksgiving came, Christmas came, New Years came,  and here I am 6 months down the road, we haven't applied for adoption, we have no money saved, and out there somewhere there is a child (or there will be a child) that God picked just for us and we have done nothing about it. I have even said a few times...well since my surgery I don't know that I could handle another child. I also said my kids are older and easier now I don't know if I want another child. Ugly isn't it. Human nature. The want to be comfortable, the want to do what's easy, the want to do what every one else does...but it's not enough.
 
Proverbs 24:10 If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small. 11 Rescue those who are being taken away to death; hold back those who are stumbling to the slaughter.12 If you say, "Behold, we did not know this," does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who keeps watch over your soul know it, and will he not repay man according to his work?
 
When I read that scripture I can't stand myself...If anyone was ever taken away to death...it would be the orphans. Maybe not all of them are in immediate danger of physical death but I went to Ch*na, I looked into the faces of children without a family, trust me they are dying inside. They need a Mom and Dad. They need a home. They need love. And I need to obey. Please pray for our family. We have to make some decisions, sooner rather than later...I don't want another 6 months to pass, I don't want to fall asleep. I want to be wide awake and busy about my Father's business.
 
In Christ Alone,

Sherri

Little is much when God is in it!

41 And he sat down opposite the treasury and watched the people putting money into the offering box. Many rich people put in large sums. 42 And a poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which make a penny. 43 And he called his disciples to him and said to them, “Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the offering box. 44 For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.” Mark 12:41-44

This is the story of The Widow's Offering. I have read it several times but today I want to concentrate on a few words in the 44th verse. "but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on." I figured out what she gave and in today's time she would have given about $1.86. Not much is it? Well Jesus thought it was something.

God showed out today in my life, he taught me a lesson, one that I have to lay my Pride down and tell you about. I have been in places of abundance in my life and I have given "large" (in my world anything over $100 is large...lol. We are rich people but just not as far as the bank is concerned!) amounts to causes that God has laid on my heart. I have to admit it hasn't really made that much of a difference...didn't mean that much...didn't cost me alot...I still had plenty. But these days things are different. Because of my 2 surgeries in the last 4 months and because I am out of work on Short Term Disability and because Christmas was last month, and because our tax return is going to be non-existent this year...well we just don't have a lot of money to give these days. Don't get me wrong, God has supplied every need. We have food to eat, gas in our cars, money for things the kids need, we just don't have a lot of money left over at the end of the month...or at the end of the week some weeks. But that is fine. God taught me a long time ago to be satisfied with little or with much. Sometimes my sweet husband gets a little miffed that I don't worry about finances but I just can't worry. God has taken care of me time and time again. I can't help but trust Him! Anyway like I said right now is NOT a time when we have a lot of money to give but today God gave us a chance not once but twice to give out of our "need" (I use that word in quotations because the situation I am in is NOT poverty as the verse says, to most of the world they would consider themselves rich to have the exact same resources as I have...it is just a place of need compared to where we have been when I was healthy and working 40 hours a week.)

I am not going to tell you how he let us give because I think it's better not to let the left hand know what the right hand is doing but God worked things out so that we were able to give abundantly even when we did not have an abundance of money.

In one situation I was aware of the need and I longed to help. It was for a great cause and my heart just "gets" the people I wanted to give to. I was on my way to the doctor today and I was telling my husband I want to help them. I want to give I wish we had it to give. By the time I got home God had shown me a way to give and as I write this post that family has benefited from what God gave me to do. God's word is true and when we make the desires of our heart line up with His will He will make those desires come to pass! I just can't stop praising Him! Thank You God for being able to use nothing and turn it into something!! Remember LITTLE IS MUCH WHEN GOD IS IN IT!

In Christ Alone,

Sherri

P.S. I want to say one more thing...God showed me last night that I had a bit of an addiction to my IP*d touch and to my Fac*book account, He convicted me and I decided to fast from both for 24 hours. I truly believe that I would have missed both of my chances if I had my focus on that IP*d and Fac*book all day. I am not saying that using those things are a sin, I am just saying sometimes we need to see how much time we are spending on that stuff compared to how much time we are spending in God's word and ministering to His people. I am going to make sure that I keep my time in check. I don't want to be addicted to anything except Christ, His Word, His People, and His Presence! Just thought someone else might need to hear that as well! God Bless!!

So it's been awhile!!!

Hi bloggy world! I have been away for awhile but I visited one blog tonight and found myself clicking on another, and another...and before I knew it my heart was overflowing and my fingers needed to type. You girls do that to me. Seeing God in you makes me a better person. I sure love you guys!!

I will spend a few minutes telling you what has been going on around here since the last time I wrote...which was September 9th! Wow I haven't written in over 3 months...time flies when you are having surgery I guess!

Back in October I had some sickness and ended up needing my Gallbladder out, I was out of work for about a month and then went back to work and worked until the first of December. I had an MRI and as some of you may know I have had back problems for years and years. I fell about 4 years ago and ruptured a few disk's in my back. I had one surgery about three years ago and things had been going fine then about 8 months ago I started having lots of pain in my left leg. I had a new MRI in November and we found out I had a HUGE disk rupture my nerves were in bad shape, I had began to lose use of my left leg and my doctor worried that I would lose control of my bladder and other bodily functions...so less than a week after the doctor saw the MRI I had a back fusion. This is a huge deal since I am just 30. I now have 4 screws and 2 rods and a mesh "fake disk" in my back. I have been out of work for over a month now and my doctor estimates that it will still be at least 2 to 3 more months before I am able to go back. Thank God for Short Term Disability and for a wonderful husband who has taken care of me!

Things have been rough we went through Christmas with me barley able to sit and it was hard not to be able to do the things I always do for Christmas. But God provided and we improvised and everything worked out!

I have to say I have been a little bummed because of the outlook that I have been given with the steel in my back. I won't be able to bend as easily and I really can't be lifting or carrying anything or anyone...this makes the idea of adopting seem a little far fetched but I know all things are possible through Christ and I look forward to being surprised by exactly what I am able to do after my healing is complete.

I will continue to try and catch up with everyone..I hope that you are all well! God Bless!

In Christ Alone,

Sherri

Operation Giggle

Operation Giggle is in full swing! Please visit the blog at http://operationgiggle.blogspot.com/ to learn more!

In Christ Alone,

Sherri

Memorial Box Monday: Writing on the Wall

One day I was having a particularly down day. My love tank was on the south side of empty and I honestly just didn't feel very great about myself. I was having a bad hair week, my clothes felt all wrong, I had realized I put on a couple of pounds...just felt like YUCK. Know what I mean?! Well I called my husband, hoping to get a little pep talk and when I started whining talking to him about how I felt he pretty much told me to get over it...he was busy at work and I think he just didn't feel like dealing with an emotional wife at the moment. Well I decided to stop by a store that I loved and I parallel parked and sat in my car and started praying. I just spilled my guts to God about how awful I felt and I asked Him to please help me feel better about things. I got out of the car and I happened to glance up and I saw this:

My heart skipped a beat...who wrote that? How did someone get up that high to write it? I know you can't tell from the picture but this is very high...I was holding my phone up over my head to get this. I'll never know what human hand wrote this or why but it sure felt like a message straight from my Heavenly Father to me and I suddenly didn't feel quite so frumpy.

It's amazing how God knows just what we need and He cares enough to provide it.

I am going to print off this picture and put it in my Memorial Box to remind me that even on my ugliest days God sees the beauty of what I can be.

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING!

God is so real. I know that seems like such a silly statement. But the REALITY of HIM is so wonderful that it has me breathless. His Spirit is such a rich wealth. I know sometimes I take it for granted but where HIS SPIRIT is there are healing, freedom, salvation, power, and so much more.


I have been listening to an online service and even though I am sitting in my bedroom. I can feel the Holy Spirit all over me. It is everything I can do to keep myself sitting here at these keys. In the service I am watching there was just a soul saved. The Spirit of God is THE MOST IMPORTANT thing we can have in today’s church and sadly it is the one thing that is THE MOST LEFT OUT. We come in at an appointed time, we have our appointed prayer, our appointed songs, our appointed message and we go back to our appointed cars and drive to our appointed homes. The problem is that we need less appointment and more anointment.

God would rather that we have one anointed service that HIS SPIRIT is the MAIN ATTRACTION at than a weeks worth of perfectly planned productions. I am convinced that it is up to us. The sons and daughters of God to show this world that they are missing something and it’s not there name on a church role, it’s GOD’S SPIRIT!

They will never come to church just because we have so much fun, they will never come because our program is so well put together. The thing that will bring hungry hearts to Christ is to allow our own hearts to be come ravenous for CHRIST and HIS SPIRIT.

Then we must FEED on the WORD of God and allow HIS WORD to shape who we are. I know that God is doing some reshaping in my life.

Take me LORD! MAKE ME DISAPPEAR! I want anyone who looks on me to only see YOU!

Transitioning...again.

Hello! I haven't blogged in awhile but I NEED to blog today.

Life is great but busy. I got my new position at work, PRAISE THE LORD! I needed insurance so I can get my health concerns under control and now I am going to be able to do so. However I am having to work 40 hours min per week. Couple this with homeschool and my health problems and I have been stretched VERY thin.

We have been homeschooling since July and we honestly have had a ball so far. Don't get me wrong it is SUCH a challenge but it has been so much fun. That is why the decision I am facing is b.r.e.a.k.i.n.g me. I know God led me to homeschool. I felt it so strongly and I still feel such a great need to educate my children. However I am not super woman and I am putting in some MAJOR hours right now at work. I honestly have no choice. I need back surgery that means I need insurance and my job is the only way to provide that insurance. I have prayed so hard about all of this and I feel very defeated at the idea of "giving in" and putting my children back in school.

The only sense I can make of it is that God wants me to take a more active role in my children's education. I plan on still teaching the Science portion of our curriculum because I know they are not learning about creation at school and it is my job to teach them the truth. I have also developed a new love of reading with my children that will continue no matter what I decided to do. We have also made daily bible study priority and I want that to continue as well. But is that enough? Is that enough to satisfy the longing God has given me to teach these children? I am not sure. But I do know that my plate is full and the last thing I want is my children's education suffering because of something I have done or not done. Opinions, comments, and general chatter are welcome but please be gentle and kind...even if your opinion is that I am making a huge mistake say it in love. I want to hear what you guys think. Is there anyone out there that supplements what the schools teach...how is that working for you?!

Also please pray for my children the school they were going to is very crowded and has lost a few teachers so we may have to make a switch to a new school. They are both ok with it but I am worried about how they will fit in. Please pray for my family during this time.

In Christ Alone,

Sherri

Hello Friends!

* insert quiet clearing throat sound here* Umm Hello bloggy friends, I have missed you guys. I love you all. I have been on-line for a little while catching up with some of you, reading your blogs, looking at your pictures, and feeling very ashamed of myself. You see part of my calling is to pray for those like-minded people who are adopting or have adopted or will adopt but I have been kinda in love with my flesh, and blinded by my pet sins for a few weeks. I have sort of been in limbo. As I have told you before to read your stories and to follow your journeys has a tendency to make my heart bleed quite a bit and I decided to take a break but unconfessed sin is still sin and an unfulfilled calling is still a calling and things have been pretty miserable here in the land of disobedience so I think I better get off my kester and do a little something.

I can't visit bloggyland as often because I homeschool 20 hours a week and work 30 hours a week outside the home but I can visit for a few minutes every day and I can spend a couple of minutes blogging. I can let people in...matter of fact I need to.

My back, that I firmly believe God touched and healed, has begun to give me fits again. My left leg is completely numb and my left knee is in bad shape. I am in MAJOR pain and I have an appointment with my the surgeon who did my first surgery on Wednesday. Please pray about all of this.

We are leaving for a MUCH needed vacation on Thursday and I know that this will lift my spirits, being at the ocean is always a time of soul searching and renewal for me. It reminds me of my BIG huge GOD and I really need that now. I am going to go catch up with a few more of you and then start to pack. Love you all!
In Christ Alone,

Sherri

I'm still here!

Things have took a turn toward busy and I haven't been in bloggy land much lately but I thought I would check in. I have started a new position that lasts until October 1st. I am homeschooling from 8-12 and working from 1:30-8. With the two hours of driving I have to do to get to work and back that means I am going for over 13 hours...so I am pretty tired and I normally fall into bed before I even think about blogging.

It is very hard to get everything done right now but I keep telling myself I can do anything for three months, RIGHT?!

I received some bad news from the doctor a few weeks ago. My back has another pinched nerve and I am losing feeling in my left foot and leg. I need another surgery but I am uninsured right now. I am going to call a local hospital today and see if there is anything they can do for me there. Please keep this situation in your prayers.

Homeschool is going great and I am very surprised with how quickly the kids are picking up on things. I will tell you it is the hardest, most rewarding thing I have ever done. Maybe I can post more about that later. Hope everyone is well! God Bless!

Sherri

Oh No, The big 3-0!

3 weeks…21 days…482 minutes…28920 seconds…no matter how you measure it the truth is I am less than a month away from July 7, 2010. On that day I will turn 30 years old. Yes ladies and gents 3 decades have came and went since the doctor smacked my behind on that hot July day. I know, I know, to you folks who have passed this milestone already this may seem like a little blip on the screen in the grand scheme of things but I am not looking forward to it. And as the song almost says, It’s my blog and I can whine if I want to.


I mean if I really start dissecting it, outta all the options, turning 30 is the best option I’ve got. The other option involves the bread truck crossing the center line, lighting striking me, or eating my weight in Krispy Kreme’s and having some type of diabetic seizure. As appealing as that Hot and Fresh sign may be, I will choose to keep my ticker ticking and wake up on 7-7-2010 to see what the day may hold. I am not sure what it is about this TRIPLE DECADE birthday that has me so bummed out. I mean if I did a check list of things that matter in life I would say I am doing pretty well.

Salvation (Check)

Relationship with God (Check on His part…halfhearted lately on mine)

Great Marriage (Check)

Wonderful Kids (Check)

Job I Love (Check)

Comfortable Home (Check) (well it’s not ours yet but it belongs to our family and the rent keeps me at home at least part time!)

Dependable Car (sort of a half a check…depending on the day…it’s working today so I will give it a) (Check)

Best Friends (Check)

Great Family (Check they are great and crazy all at once!)

In Good Health (No check here…this is one thing that has me bummed)



If you look at it on paper I think things are pretty umm…groovy (to use a word from the decade I was conceived in). But I am a little uneasy lately. I know part of it is this adoption journey God has put us on…things aren’t moving at the speed I want and that is just plain frustrating. I mean with my last baby I decided I wanted to have another …we had a little fun…(my Moms will die when they read that…lol…so just for them let me say we had a LOT of fun  ) and then after a month or so I was expecting. There was no question in my mind; in 9 months there would be a baby. God protected me and my sweet boy and that is just what happened. No biggie. But with this I don’t have a guarantee (not that I really did with my other two I was just blissfully stupid.) I don’t have a baby bump (not that I could find it under the baby weight from the 10 and 7 year old…yes that is what I still call it…WHAT?! Don’t judge me!! Anyway I have just never walked this way before and I am not the most patient person in the world (which would be why God also picked now to call me to HOMESCHOOL) and things are just S-L-O-W!!

Well with that, and with the fact that my health isn’t great and I need to loose weight to feel better, all I really want to do is sit down with a bag of dove bars and Funny Girl on DVD and make all of my problems go away. This birthday just has me feeling sort of BLAH.

So I come to you my fellow bloggy sisters (and brothers)…have you had a hard birthday in the past? What did you do to cheer yourself up?! Is it better to party or hide? My mom is planning on taking me out of town the weekend before so I don’t think I have a choice there. Also my birthday is on a Wednesday, any ideas for how the kids and I can make the day fun and make me feel a little less like being the first woman to die from my tongue getting caught in my Kitchen Aid Mixer set on high to mix Double Fudge Brownies?! What’s a girl to do to make 30 feel a little less like the top of the hill and a little more like the dawn of a new decade.

Sunday Snapshot: My Moms

Not every girl is blessed to have two Moms in their lives.

My Mom and "Other Dad" Helen and Andy

The one who birthed me is Helen and she is fun loving, giving, and feisty.

She wiped my nose and put band aids on my boo boo's.

She held my hair when I got sick after my first drink (and yelled at me while I had a headache...and cooked food and made me eat it...)

She dried my tears when my first boyfriend, Thomas, broke my heart.

She loves me unconditionally.

She is my Mom and I love her very much!

But I guess God knew that I was a special case and when I was 15 years old my parents divorced and about six months later my Dad started dating Darlene. Eleven years ago Friday she became my "Other Mother" (We hate the term Step-Mother you stand on a step, you love a Mother!)

My Dad and "Other Mom" Jack and Darlene

Lene became my friend first.

She took me places and listened when I talked.

She ran interference with my Dad for me.

She wiped my tears when my last boyfriend; before my husband man came along; broke my heart.

She treats me as if I were her biological child.

She loves me unconditionally.

She is my Mom and I love her very much!

Both of my Moms love my children, they kiss their boo boo's and they wipe their noses. They hold their hair when they are sick. They cook for us; they pray for us, they are amazing.

My Moms are so different. They have different interests and hobbies, they have different tastes in music, they have different styles in clothes, but they are both gifts from God and I praise His name everyday for seeing fit to bless me with two Moms. He blessed me with a great set of Dad's as well but father’s day will be here soon so I will save that post till then.

Saturday:Striving for Simplicity

Oh wow it's 11:55 p.m. I guess since I am starting this post before midnight I can let it count for my Saturday Striving for Simplicity post!
One thing that I feel has made our life a little simpler is that we decided to cut our cable off. I know I know I once was a girl that had NEVER been without at least 60 channels but when I lost my job over 3 years ago we knew some things would have to go and that was one of the things we couldn't fit into our budget. Honestly I still do miss having Food Network and I miss being able to watch all of the football games that we love but if there is a game we really want to see we can always go to a family members and I can watch Food Network on-line. I have noticed that I am MUCH more productive without cable. We still have our local channels but once our news goes off I normally turn the TV off. I think that not having 24 hours of cartoons to watch forces the kids to find ways to entertain themselves.

Now that I am working part time again we have only talked about turning cable back on once and we quickly decided against it. For now we have PLENTY to keep busy with and I am afraid that we would get nothing done if we had too many choices for entertainment. Plus we have time to do things that we didn't do before.

One thing that we do that I absolutely love is we eat dinner around the table every.single.day. This gives us a chance to talk about our day and just take a breather from everything else. We have been getting interrupted by the phone a lot lately, maybe I'll start turning the ringer off...who knows!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!!

In Christ Alone,

CVSing

So this was my first trip "CVSing" and I think I did pretty good for a newbie! I had a few things I needed like

Soap

Shampoo

Windex
Candles

and the kids needed batteries for the Wii so I got all of this:

for $20 regularly it would have been a little over $33 so with coupons and Extra Care Bucks I saved $13. I know I will get better as time goes on but I was pretty excited.

I also went to Food Lion and got two bottles of Whisk laundry detergent, a pack of lunch meat and some peanut butter it would have been $18 plus change normally and it was $10.55.

So I saved $21 and got stuff we needed anyway!

Just thought I would share!!

Between THE Rock and a weak place.

Have you ever wanted something so badly that you could taste it? I mean have you ever longed for something in a way that hurt your heart? Have you thought about something until it consumed your every waking minute? Have you planned and dreamed and prayed about one thing until you are completely empty?

I sure have.

And today it feels like too much. My soul longs for another child. I know there are needy children out there I know they need a home, my heart knows that my family is not complete. My arms ache to rock a little one to sleep, my hands long to wash little clothes, but most of all my soul longs for another child to call my own. I can't really explain why. For years I said I was finished. I have two wonderful children and my life is full of wonderful minutes spent taking care of them. I know God had to allow me to think I was finished so that I would make the medical decisions necessary for me to be able to live my life and not just go through the motions. I also know that if I had been able to have more children on my own I would not have thought about adoption as readily. Over the last two years God has clearly shown me that adoption is in our future. I know that I will have at least one more child and I know that it is just a matter of timing but lately I have been feeling very...jaded, I guess.

First of all my husband is SO practical. That trait has served us well since I am all about dreaming big and without him reigning me back in I would have made some very foolish decisions over the years. However it is not easy for someone that is so practical to look at the numbers behind adding another child to your family and then say, "I don't know where the $15k will come from but God will provide." That is just out of his comfort zone. I know that he trusts God but that kind of monetary commitment is not something he makes lightheartedly. Unfortunately this has left me feeling as if I need to "convince" him that we should adopt. Please know that my husband is a great man, a wonderful father, and a devoted husband and I know he only has our family’s best interest at heart.

But just to be honest it is a really big load to carry. Some days I do not feel like I am capable of adopting a child, some days I am tired and ill. Some days I am frustrated with my children, some days I have laundry pilled up and I can not fathom the ideal of adding another child’s laundry to it. Some days I think about the fact that my son will be 18 in 11 years and I will be finished mothering small children and then I think about adding a newborn to the mix in about a year and I think oh wow that means I will have 19 more years of mothering. Sometimes I just don't want to be positive about this whole process. Maybe I don't know where the money will come from, maybe I don't know how we will raise three children, and maybe I don't know how we will pay for college for three kids. MAYBE I DON'T HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS. Maybe I need to be convinced to adopt...only there is no one to do that. But, I cannot get away from James 1:27

“Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction and to keep oneself unstained from the world.”

I cannot get away from the Holy Spirit's leading; I cannot get away from God's plan. And honestly I don't want to get away from any of it. I have walked contrary to His Word before and I know where it got me Shipwrecked, Messed Up, Stressed Out. I want to be what He wants me to be. It's just that today I feel like he called the wrong girl. Today I feel that He meant to call someone else, someone healthier, someone richer, someone better with money, someone who has it all together. That's not me. But He knows me and He doesn't make mistakes so I guess the only thing left to be adjusted is my attitude. Please pray for me dear bloggy friends. I need Him to be STRONG in my weak places.

Memorial Box Monday: A Kiss

My Memorial Box Monday post is just a simple little story that some might find silly but I believe that God is into the details of my life and I believe that he knows just what I need and he takes pleasure in providing it for me, when he deems it appropriate.

When my children were smaller my husband worked some crazy hours he worked 12 hour shifts three or four days in a row. He worked midnights 5:45 p.m. till 6 a.m. it was so hard to take care of the kids and work and do all of the other things I was doing and often after three or four days of only seeing him for 15 minutes before work and having the kids alone I was struggling. One week he was working Monday-Thursday and it was Wednesday and I was on my way home from a long hard day at work, I had only seen him in passing the three days before and I knew that I was just going to pass him on his way out the door and then I would have to get the kids ready, do supper, and get to church all in less than two hours and I was feeling VERY overwhelmed. I was driving across town on my way home and I was just pouring my heart out to God. I was talking to him like I would my earthly father and I was crying and just telling him that I was overwhelmed, and tired, and lonely. I told him I felt like no one understood and like no one cared. It was a low moment for me. I was hurting, and tired, I needed a pick me up. Well my Wonderful Jesus knew just what I needed. I was driving in front of the courthouse downtown and I got caught by a red light. I looked over at the courthouse and I saw my friend Raymond. Raymond is in his mid to late 60's he goes to the church I went to at the time and he is precious (That is him in the picture). He always says "God loves you, just let him." He is just so precious and I love him with all of my heart. Since both of my grandfathers have passed Raymond is my stand in. He always gives me a smile and a hug and I just think the world of him. Well on that day I looked over and I saw Raymond and I waved and he waved and all of a sudden Raymond did something out of character for him. You see Raymond is a great guy but he is a "Man's Man" he likes to fish, and he holds an elected position in our county and he is not a man that just goes around being silly, but standing on the middle of the Courthouse square, Raymond put his hand to his lips and blew me the sweetest kiss you ever saw. At first it kinda surprised me, like I said Raymond isn't the blowing kisses sort but he sure did blow me a kiss. The second I saw it I felt the Holy Spirit come over me and I heard my precious savior whisper, "That kiss was from me." Then the Holy Spirit began to flood my soul with scripture that told of God's great love and mercy. I knew at that moment that even though things were not easy and I was in a difficult time, He was with me. The Lover of my soul was hanging on my every word, he knew what I needed and he was willing and able to provide. Praise the Name of JESUS! That night at church I got to tell Raymond what that kiss meant to me and he said he didn't know why he did it that he really surprised himself by doing it! :-) I love it when God does something like that just for me!

The other day I saw a little silver Hershey's Kiss at a gift shop I think I will go and buy it and place it in my memorial box to help me remember that God is watching over me and that whenever I am feeling down he is always with me.

Striving for Simplicity~Small Family, Big Plans

Well Linny at A Place Called Simplicity has started something else that I think is great, it is called Saturday's Striving for Simplicity and it is a place to discuss simplifying life so I thought I would throw in my two cents worth ;-).

I do not have a big family yet, right now it is me, the husband, my sweet girl, and my wonderful boy but we have big plans, well actually God has big plans and we are just along for the ride! So, I am trying to simplify things so that I will already have some great practices in place before we add to our family. One thing that I feel is very important to me is letting go of others preconceived notions of what my life should be. I tried to make every part of my life look like others said it should for a decade. Finally about two years ago I decided that what God thought about it was FAR more important than getting a family member or friend’s stamp of approval. This has led to several changes in my life but the most recent one has been our decision to homeschool. For years women taught their children, the center of life was the home and not the school. I feel like deciding to make our home the center of our lives again is a giant step in the right direction.

I have also started paring down in more tangible ways. One way is that I have a giveaway bag next to my bathroom door in my bedroom and when anyone puts something on and realizes that hey have grown three inches (for some of us that is in height and for others it's in width :-) not saying who is who!) they place it into the bag and that keeps our closets from getting bogged down with last years size. Another thing I did was hang two rods in my son’s closet and I put the clothes for the current season on the lowest rack and the off season clothes on the top rack. This way he can reach what he needs but he can't get to a snow suit in July. My son's room is a bit on the small side so I also bought some "soft bins" for his folded clothes and use those for storage instead of a big chest. He has a student desk my grandfather made with big cubes in it that are just the right size for the bins.

One way we keep the house running is having a set cleaning day. We straighten the house everyday but every Tuesday is cleaning day and we all work on one room at a time each doing our "jobs" and then moving on. When we are working on getting chapter books read we will stop in between each room and read one chapter, it's kinda like a little treat for finishing each room. It makes quick work of the cleaning and gives us a little rest in between (which my back really needs sometimes). I am looking forward to getting others tips! I would love some tips at meal planning and tips to help laundry not be such a chore! Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

In Christ Alone,